THE ALL NIGHTER!!!!

So it's a normal Tuesday and you're chilling in the dorm room kicking ass and taking names in whatever fps or sports game the kids are into these days when it hits you.......HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!! It's 9:45 at night and you just remembered that big project/paper/etc. that's worth 60% of your overall grade is due in 12 hours and you haven't even started on it. You my friend are in for an all nighter of Michael Bay sized proportions. (Insert hot chicks explosions and mildly racist robots)

Like most studious college students at the beginning of each semester you make a pact with yourself to stay on top of all your classes and avoid the dreaded life or death all nighter. Well for the first week of school your keep that personal pact until you realize man fuck this shit I want to party and tame some strange, I'll do all that studying shit later. Well later turns into eventually and then eventually turns into fuck my life I can't believe I forgot to do this  big project/paper/etc. until now. Now you must find away to finish this big project/paper/etc. if you hope to pass your class. I've been down this road a few times in my college career and have some tips to offer the brave soul who must undertake this task.

*Disclaimer I'm in no way shape or form a doctor or reliable study guru. I'm a bro with a blog who is sharing his own personal tips for making an all nighter your bitch. So don't get pissed at me if you get hurt or fail you class because of my advice.  At the end of the day you should've planned ahead dumbass.*

Okay first things first you need to find a fuel source for your after dark escapades. Most college students turn to the old reliable coffee. This is cool if you're a 75 retiree trying to enjoy a lovely Sunday morning with your spouse of 45 years. This drink is simple to bitch made for the task at hand.

5 hour Energy is a good choice
but be warned this chemical concoction of caffeine, b vitamins, and Dwayne Johnson sweat is extremely potent. Drinking more then one could result in the consumer gaining the ability to kick the sun and being rendered sterile. Also you could go in to cardiac arrest and totally like die and junk.  This would be amazing for you're room mate who would totally get a 4.0 for the semester off your death...but screw that guy he keeps you up late at night listening to Drake and he borrows all your shit and never gives it back in the same condition he got it.

The ol' trusty radioactive green soft drink Mountain Dew is also a viable option for the procrastinating college student with a lot of ass to kick between the AM and PM. Grab a few two liter and inject directly into your veins champ we have a lot of work to do.

The Adderall (Smart
Drugs) is an appealing alternative to all these bitch made caffeinated drinks. This drug is prescribed to people with ADHD and will give a Jedi like focus, but will sadly not make any actually Jedi. Be warned with great focus comes great consequences like the inability to sleep for up to 24 hours and over-thinking ones life, but the drug will give the undivided focus to finish whatever task you have for 12 to 24 hours. But keep in mind that this is a drug and is illegal to have in ones possession unless it's prescribed and overdosing has led to death and junk, so us at your own risk.

The next think to do is look at yourself in the mirror while you wait for your chosen study to fuel to kick in. Inspect your new chin hair to make sure it's still there.

Check on your sweet pump, uses your gym gains to inspire you to get these mental gains broski

*Optional do push ups and sit up to increased pumpness*

Now clear your desk and set out all your study materials 

*Optional do more push ups and sit up to increased pumpness*

 By now your study fuel should be coursing through your veins and your heart probably feels like it's going to explode out of your chest...this is how you know it's time to crack them books and get to work. But first you must assembly a playlist to match the epicness of your caffeine high. Try and pick song that range from an up tempo all out dubstep assault to your ears to down tempo loves songs like Band Will Make Her Dance. The length of you tasty jams playlist will vary depending on how much music you have in your collect.

Now you study like there's no tomorrow, no matter what you must finish what ever the hell it  is that your studying. Make no mistake about it this working that you are doing is rushed and half assessed but you got to finish it if you hope to pass that class and stay your procrastinating ass in college. At many points in the night you'll become discouraged and frustrated, when this happens watch a Ray Lewis motivation speech video or a montage from a Rocky film and you'll find a desire from deep within to finish the task at hand. Copy and paste are your friends and you will fake sources to fill out the bare minimum requirements, as long as you finish the damn thing and turn it in with at least C quality work you'll be fine champ.

As the sunlight comes peaking through your dorm room window a sense of accomplishment will fall over you. Throw on Wrecking Ball as you make your way to you bed for 15 minutes of sleep before you must attack the day and turn in your half assessed C quality big project/paper/etc.

To recover from this massive amount of stress you put on your body smoke some pot and go to sleep.

*Disclaimer smoking pot is stupid illegal in most parts of the world and is merely a  comical suggestion from this bro with a blog* 

Conjugal Visitation Day

Today is my dorm's open house, on this day we are allowed to have females in our rooms from 12-2, provided we follow a few rules. Our suite doors as well as our room doors must remain open at all times, also our "lady friend guests" must check in down in the lobby before they are allowed to come into our rooms. So basically our dorm has set up a conjugal visit for our good behavior. Warden I mean Dean would probably take our conjugal visits I mean open house away if we have a riot on the yard.

The school must assume it's going to be an all out fuck fest on open house days, but in all actuality nothing really happens. Now I'm not going to say that some people don't get their freak on, but for the most part nothing really happens.Honestly all that really happen is your "lady friend guest" comes to your room sits on your bed and watches you and your friends play 2K and listen to the Action Bronson mixtape. Basically on this day from 12-2 I get experience what real college is, In real college they don't give two shits and fuck who I have in my dorm room.  But at 2:01 I'm quickly snapped back to the bleak reality that I'm not in real college....I'm at the boring, old fashion, close minded institution of high learning known as Oakwood University, a school who's mind set for the most part is stuck in the 1950's... Bullocks.

Give A Fuck Day

I hereby decree with all the power vested in me that March 14th in the year of our lord 2013 shall hence fourth be remember as the first give a fuck day. On this day people are obligated to give a fuck about thinks they normally would give a fuck about. If you don't give a fuck about going to your 8 AM math class you must now give a fuck and show up to that class.

 This day shall be a day of remembrance for the one and only fuck Mike has ever given in his life. A fuck that was passed on to him genetically from birth and he had saved for 21 long years. Last night at my request  he gave the only fuck he could ever give, his one and only fuck. It is in the memory of this one singular  fuck that was given that we honor it by giving a fuck today. So today give a fuck about school, give a fuck about work, give a fuck about life, give a fuck about Twilight, look like you give a fuck , act like you give a fuck, and for some of you over achievers out there you can 2 fucks or even a flying fuck about something you would normally never give a fuck about. By giving a fuck today we can properly honor the memory of Mike's only given fuck, so please do your part by giving not a quater of a half or a half a fuck but a full fuck today.

Oz the Great and The Powerful Review

Last Night I had the opportunity to go out to the cinema and enjoy a film, an opportunity  that i'm rarely given to do while I live in the dorms at my school. I also got to the enjoy the company of my brother and his team ( group of friends he hangs out with). Also I wouldn't be a true Kansan if I did go see the prequel of the movie that put my state on the cinematic map. So we decided to go to the Hollywood 18 cinema, and I decided to fully engross myself in the film so I choose to see the film in 3D.

The movie opens up in 1905 Kansas at a little shitty carnival  where our main character Oz ( James Franco) is swooning some young unsuspecting young stupid country girls to be in his magic act by giving her a music box. He claims that the music box belonged to his now deceased grandmother, who was killed in a battle in a war he makes up. He quickly gain the girl's trust, confidence and heart after telling this lie. Which to be fair most women in Kansas are kinda slow and will believe any lie a traveling man tells them. Trust me, take it from a true Kansan who grew up with a lot of those simple minded women. Okay not all the women are that slow, but I would have to say about 75% of them are. Any way back to this damn review.

Oz's assistant, who he constantly treats like complete shit, Frank ( Zack Braff) comes in and interrupts any intimate moment Oz is trying to have with this simple minded chick. This is the scene where we really see that Oz is no more then a douche bag con man. After that we get to see this grand magic show that Oz is doing, only problem is his grand show turn out to be a shitty half bit act done in a cramped tent. After doing some pretty simple tricks by today's magic standards that amazes the shit out of the audience and a  small girl in a wheel chair (Joey King) ask him if he can make her walk again. When this happen I was like holy shit little girl you can't randomly ask a scum bag magician for that....he's not the lord for Christ Sake. But what really made it sad was when her parents tried to pay this man to do it. Now I know Kansans have a reputation for being slow witted farming folks but god damn movie they aren't that simple. Thankful Oz turns down there offer, but  still the scene had me a little choked up.

Oz come back to his trailer wagon thing to found an old girl friend to be waiting outside wanting to talk to him. It's clear from the way Oz acts that she means a little more to him them any of the other random girls in Kansas. Only she's not here for a booty call she's there to tell Oz's she about to get married to some random fuck that we never see. Oz is clearly kinda heart broken, but still wishes her well. They are both surprised to hear the carnival's very strong, very belligerent strong man outside tearing shit up with a music box in his hand pissed at Oz's for fucking his bitch. That sequecne brought to mind the song Marble Floors.

So now Oz has to haul ass out of there before he gets his ass kicked by this pissed strong man and a random ass clown. Quickly he runs to his balloon where his assistants throw him his hat and bag as he makes his grand escape. Now the only problem with his grand escape is the tornado that appears out of no where and swallows up his balloon. After this the movie gets crazy as fuck, when the balloon emerges from the tornado he ends up in the land of Oz.

When Oz arrives in Oz the aspect ratio of the screen changes and the color changes from black and white to color. He crash lands in a lake where he meets a witch named Theodora (Mila Kunis) who saw his balloon fall out the sky. She tells him this riduclurly specific prophecy that says some asshole will fall from the sky and save her people. The prophecy's so damn specific that it said the prick who falls from sky the would be from Kansas. This prophecy was basically a giant fuck you to the sorry ass Mayan prophecy.  Theodora brings him to meet her sister Evanora (Rachel Weisz) to show her that the prophecy has come true. Evanora is skeptical of him being the great wizard of the prophecy and say that if he want to be king of Oz he has to kill the wicked witch. So being the greed con man Oz is he accepts her challenge.  After this we are later introduced to there other sister and fellow witch Glinda (Michelle Williams), and we see if this con man can become the savior alll of Oz needs him to be.

**************************** SPOILER ALERT***************************************



I can't say that I was super amped to see this movie because I don't like how the world of Oz is all cgi, that's one of the main reasons that I did go see Alice In Wonderland. But even thought i'm not a huge fan of the overly cgi world it's still really beautiful to look at, also seeing it in 3D made me feel closer to the story. I love how the 3D was use more as a tool than a gimmick to get more money from people at the box office. Also I thought it was awesome that all three of the witches were all outrageously hot. Even when later in the movie we find out that Theodora become the wicked witch of the west, she still look lowkey good. Oh and the reason for her becoming the bad witch is because she falls for Oz and she gets emotional hurt by this dude. So Evanoroa who is also a wicked witch gives her an apple that basically gets rid of her heart and her ability to love. The only problem is that she still a pretty hot looking witch, also after eating a magic apple Evanora gives her she random starts stripping... seriously, she doesn't get naked but she just start ripping off her clothes. I think it's funny that this movie tried to make Mila Kunis ugly like she character Meg on Family Guy. So now she's basically becomes a bitter chick who got her heart broke by any asshole. I kinda love how Oz is portrayed early on in the film as a womanizer giving us Kansas men a few cool points.

The beginning and middle of the film is kind of slow but the story picks up in the end and finishes
with a strong ending. I liked the China Girl character ( Joey King), but she's by far got the saddest back story and it had me choked up. Zach Braff also shows up again as the winged monkey (Finely) even thought I think he looks more like the wicked witch of the west. I really can't stand Oz as a character in the beginning, I found him to be such an unbearable prick, but the character does change into a better person throughout the film. The cast was pretty good and I felt that James Franco does a good job of carrying the movie, even if he does look stoned as fuck in most of his scenes. Sam Rami was a pretty good choice to direct this, and his style of film-making really shows through. Oh yeah did I forget to mention that all the witch are bad witches too. Haha see what I did there...Instead of saying bad bitches I said bad witches.

This movie is only Man Approved for the dad taking his kids out to see a flick and being pleasantly surprised to see a move full of smoking hot witches. Outside of that i can't really recommend going to see in cinemas unless you really got a hard on for The Wizard of Oz, or a die hard Sam Rami fan. Outside of that group you can pretty much wait for it to come out on Blu Ray a watch it at home.

C+

Obeezy's Man Approved April 2013 Movie Guide

April 5th

Jurassic Park 3D 

The first film that I'm going to run out and see like 45 times is the Imax 3D re release of Jurassic Park. It's been a legit 20 years since the film was last in cinemas and fans of the franchise now have the chance to re live the magic of Jurassic Park once again.  "Hold on to your butts".

The Company You Keep

This is the new Robert Redford film featuring an all star cast of  talented veteran actors....oh yeah and Shia LaBeouf is in it too. The movie looks pretty interesting but depending on where you are in the country you might not get to see it in cinemas, because of the films limited release. I'm not in a super rush to go see it but if the chance arises for me to take in this film I might indulge myself and go see it, BUT NOT BEFORE JURASSIC PARK!!!!!!

 

April 19

Oblivion

This film might be my sleeper hit of the Spring. I remember seeing the first trailer for the film and not really being interested, I thought to myself "oh great another Tom Cruise movie, whats this 50 year old  midget going to be running from this time?" Then I did some research on the film and found out that Joseph Kosinski (Tron Legacy) would be directing and Claudio Miranda (Tron Legacy, Life of Pi) would be providing the cinematography fresh off his Oscar win for :Life of Pi. Then I got my mind blown when I found out M83 would step into the role Daft Punk did on Tron Legacy and provide the music for the film. When you mix all those ingredients together and bake for 25 minutes at 325 degrees you have the possible makings of a next level game changing man approved movie.

April 26

Pain & Gain

Pain & Gain, the new Michael Bay movie featuring Mark Walhberg, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Anthony Mackie as body builders turned criminals, with Miami as the backdrop for the film.  I've been hyped to see this film for many reason one of which being that I'm  tired of see Michael Bay blow shit up in the Transformers franchise .. I want to see him blow shit up in more original movies too. This movie also has a pretty small budget for a Michael Bay film of a around $25 million, making it the cheapest Michael Bay film since Bad Boy which a had a budget of around $18 million. This low budget might actually be a good thing, instead of a movie driven by explosions and CGI effects we should expect to see a more character and story driven film from Mr. Bay....but I really wouldn't hold my breathe hoping for that.

Public Speaking

Today had to be one of the easiest class day in my entire college career. I had to do a 4-6 minute informative speech on any subject of my choosing, so naturally I elected to talk about Star Wars. The Star Wars films are among some of my all time favorites so it was pretty effortless for me to talk about it for four minutes. But today I felt like I was finally starting to come out of shell by talking to a group of people I don't know very well about something I truly enjoy. Ever since I can remember I've always been in somebodies shadow because I was the youngest one in the family. I'm always being compared to my father and my brother but today while I speaking I felt like all people really saw was who I am. Now the speech isn't long and it isn't a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but it was such a freeing feeling to share with other people something I love.....Then I call everyone in my class a nerfherder and nobody understood the reference.

A Few of My Favorite Twilight Zone Episodes

As a kid I can remember my mum being a pretty big  fan of the Twilight Zone, but the theme music use to scare the hell out of me so I never use to watch the show with her. Then one New Years Eve during my freshmen year of high they ran a 24 hour marathon and I decided to watch it. Ever since then I've been hooked on the show  and I've probably recorded  most of the episodes on my DVR. So I've decided to create a small list of my favorite episodes.

 Dead Man's Shoes

This episode is my favorite because of how bad ass the main character Dane is. Dane is a gangster who slaps hoes, drinks tequila with a cube of a sugar, and pretty much what ever the hell else he feels like. The guy's such a bad ass that it literally rubs off on his shoes. Your shit out of luck if  he has a grudge against you because nothing even death can stop him from seeking vengeance. The Episode opens up a with some guys who we can only assume are gangsters because there dumping a body in an alley. A homeless guy sees the whole thing and goes to investigate the dead guy. While investigating this poor dead bastard he notices that this unlucky son of a bitch has some bitchin' shoes and decides that the shoes would better serve him and steals them. Well turns out them mother fucking shoes are possessed by the vengeful spirit of Dane out for revenge against the men that killed him. Funniest part of the episode is when he slaps the ever loving shit out of his girlfriend for no reason!!!! Ok domestic violence isn't funny but the slap comes out of no where and caught me by surprise the first time I saw it and I thought it was the funniest shit in the world. 

 The Howling Man

This episode kicks ass in so many way, the first of which is the camera work and cinematography that helps give the episode a very creepy feel. The story is about this dumb ass who gets caught in this freak storm while on a walking trip in Europe, while trying to find shelter from the storm he discovers a castle full of a bunch of died hard Moses enthuses. Jerome is the leader of this group of old testament posers and reluctantly allows David Ellington (the previously mentioned dumb ass)  to wait the storm out in the castle. Oh and by the way there is a loud howling in castle which Jerome claims is the Devil himself, who is lock up in a cell within the castle. You know just normal every day run of the mill creep castle shit.  David is allowed to stay as long as he doesn't go fucking around with the Devil. By this point you know shit can only get crazier from there...and it does.

The Masks 

Set in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, the story is  about Jason Foster, a wealthy elderly man who's dying. So before he dies he invites his daughter Emily and her family out to visit him in his final moments of life. The first thing you need to know about Emily and her family is that they're all assholes in their own ways. Emily is a self centered hypochondriac who can only seem to bitch and moan about her own problems, her husband Wilferd is a greedy business man, their daughter Paula is a vain bitch, and Wilferd Jr. is sadistic bully. From the very first moment they appear on screen you want all of them to be crushed by a boulder cause they are just the biggest group of assholes to have ever existed. Anyway back to the point, their grandfather tells them that all they have have to do to inherit everything in his will is to wear masks he has specifically picked out for them until midnight. Failure to do so will results in them receiving nothing, so they oblige the old man in his odd request. by the end of the night we all find out why the masks are so special. 

I hate partying

Last night was the last home game for my college's basketball game team this seasons, so naturally everybody wanted to go turn up somewhere after the game. I hadn't been to a party in a while so I decided to go out with a few friends and attempt to  turn up too. But what I had forgotten was I go to Oakwood University home of the weakest parties and weakest party people in the damn country. After hopping from wack party to wack party I quickly realized why I  no longer attend parties at this school..because they fucking suxxx ( with three X's so you know it's extreme). Every single think I utterly hate about going to parties I experienced last night.

The first thing I hate about going out are the hypebeasts. Hypebeasts we are aware of all you out there and we are also aware of the fact they you don't purchase shoes unless they're popular. It's one thing to have style it's another to look like a complete douchebag in public. What truly pisses me off about hypebeasts is the fact that they take as much time as females to get ready to go out and they act like females when they get to the party. They get to the party stand on a wall and won't dance with any females because they don't want to mess up there swag, bet let a Drake song come on these pricks will push women out the way to get on the dance floor and have there own personal music videos. That just seems a little homosexual to me.

 Hypebeasts are already bad enough but at every party there's always a guy there who is way to intoxicated. The drunk guy will always show up to a party not to party but to get as shit faced as they possible can. Then the next day they will talked about how shit faced they were as if I'm suppose to be impressed with how many beers who had or how cool you are for pissing you pants. Bro seriously I don't give a fuck and you should seriously consider getting your shit together, because being an alcoholic isn't cool. Now I'm not saying drinking at a party is bad but everyone should know there limits nobody wants to be that person who drank way to much and passes out in the toilet. God forbid a hypebeast gets wasted he liable to play Marvin's Room and call his ex girlfriend from sophomore year of high school asking why there relationship didn't last.

Drunks and Hypebeast are quite annoying but there is nothing that pisses me off more about parting or going out to the club more them some of these females out here. I go to Oakwood a school that secretly has some of the freakest women in Huntsville. Oakwood has all the hoes but the hoes we got here are great at hiding it. During the week they look and act like this

But from sunset Friday night to about 4 am Sunday morning they look and act like this

Females will spend hours getting dress, doing there hair, checking themselves out in the mirror, and then using that same mirror to snap picture of themselves to put on instagram just to show up a party and seat down somewhere, take up space on  the wall, or dance amongst themselves. So now we have resipe for a weak ass party, on one side of the dance floor week got women twerking on each other and on the other side we got hypebeasts have there own personal music videos as their favorite Drake song plays in the background  Then some people have the nerve to charge people to come their parties and experience this wack shit.

Going out to the club is the biggest waste of time and money that I've every experience in my whole life. It's cost me $10 bucks to get in and these assholes are going to try and charge $8 for a beer....you out of you god damn mind if you think Obeezy is dropping $8 for a beer. but that's not even the worst part women in club are constantly bitch about random shit and ain't nobody got on time for that. They will be in my ear all night asking me to buy them a drink so I can listen to them bitch and moan about how their feet hurt. Ok first off you got into the club tonight for free cause it's ladies night, Secondly you didn't bring any money with you because you knew at least one guy would buy a drink, and third of all nobody told you to put on them high heels. Ain't nobody got no time to listen to your problems cause shit I got my own problems. Why would I put up with all this bullshit for the slim chance to have to have a one stand, but now that I've matured a little bit all that effort I put into going out really isn't worth it. Plus all hot chicks hang out with a group of friends that look like this

<<===SHIT GOD DAMN!!!!! These girls share the same beliefs as the Marines when it comes to nobody left behind. If cocking blocking was a sports these broke bitches would be Super Bowl MVPs and Heisman winners. But the worst part about these tragic excuses for women is the fact that they wear clothes that just should come in certain sizes.

I guess I'm really not about this partying/ clubbing lifestyle cause i just ain't no time for that shit. Now I'm not against hangout with few people and having a little kickback but outside of that I really don't care. If your about that partying life more power to you but Obeezy ain't got no time for that shit.

MAN APPROVED Oscar Picks

The Academy Awards will be taking place this Sunday and I want to share a few of my Oscar picks. This list won't contain every category just the main ones that people give a shit about.

BEST SCREENPLAY
Wes Anderson And Roman Coppola

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY 
Tony Kushner

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams, and Dan Sudick

BEST EDITING 
Tim Squyres

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Life of Pi-Claudio Miranda

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM 
Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Les Miserables- Anne Hathaway

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE 
Django Unchained- Christoph Waltz

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE 
Zero Dark Thirty- Jessica Chastain

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Lincoln- Daniel Day Lewis

BEST DIRECTOR
Lincoln- Steven Spielberg THA GAWD!!!!!

BEST PICTURE 
Steven Spielberg THA GAWD!!! and Kathleen Kennedy

The MAN APPROVED Vehicles I Wish I Had In College

BUMBLEBEE 
Bumblebee,a transforming Camaro, is perhaps the ultimate wet dream of a car for any kid attending college.Think about how awesome it would be to not only have a Camaro(The greatest car ever made) but a Camaro that happens to be your own personal Autobot protector. How many people you know drive a damn Autobot around campus? The only downside to owning car like bumblebee is the constant fear that he'll end up bring a gigantic ancient intergalactic alien war to you school, or him accidentally stepping on somebody.

The Mystery Machine
Owning a van in your twenties is only cool if you happen to own the Mystery Machine or a van similar to it like the A-Team Van. What I find awesome about the Mystery Machine the fact that it allows me to take my team with me on ridiculous adventures throughout my college experience. \It would hands down be the ultimate spring break machine. With a van like you are obligated by the bro code to invite you friends to drive around smoke weed and then take some girls out to the Drive Inn. The only downside to owning the Mystery Machine is the fact that it'll always run out of gas in the creepiest places when you try to take a short cut.

The Tumbler
Honestly this is one of the more impractical vehicles on this list. Essentially it's a fucking tank, and that's why it had to make this list. Think about all the power you would have driving this beast of a car around campus. What professor would dare give you and F or count you absent for class when they know you Tumbler outside ready to destroy there car. Nobody would dare cut you off on the highway and you can literally park this big bitch anywhere you want. If you're a cop you either have to have balls of steel or a death wish trying to put a parking ticket on this whip. There are numerous downside to owning a vehicle like this one which being fulling this gigantic bastard up....hell what does the damn thing run on anyway? Also there's only on seat, so on else can enjoy the mayhem you create but you.Then you really have to ask yourself if a tank is really what you want as your main mode of transportation.

The Dolorean
I would get my Marty Mcfly on in this blast from the past. Now like most college students I find it hard to wake up in the morning and I sometimes miss class. If I had my Dolorean I could make time my bitch and do things on my schedule. Forgot to study for my finals and I overslept and missed a final, I guess my life is over right? Not when I can hop in my Dolorean go back in time and tell my past self to get his shit together. The only downside to owning the Dolorean is the fact that the power of time travel shouldn't be put in the hands of a random college kid. I'm liable to go back in time and assault the asshole who invented math because i'm hard time doing my homework.

The Mach 5
Deep down inside all of us is an inner speed demon and the Mach 5 is the car I choose to release my inner speed demon. Honestly having a race car in college is the quickest way to either kill yourself or go bankrupt with speeding tickets. Plus race cars are horrible on gas mileage and ain't nobody got no time for a gas guzzling race car in college. Then on top of that I don't want have to worry about some little kid and his monkey hiding in my trunk while I'm out being reckless.

.

YEE-HAW!!!!! The General Lee has to be the most durable car on this list. I could literally jump anything in this car and wouldn't have to worry about any structural damage or bodily injury coming to me or the car. The only draw backs to owning the General Lee is the fact that one i'm black, two I go to any HBCU, and three I go to school in Alabama. A black guy cruising around in an orange 69' Charger named after a confederate general with gigantic confederate flag isn't exactly the best look. But the fact that I get to slide across my hood and hope through my window to get in my car almost makes this irresistible to own.

It's one thing to have a dope car in college, any asshole can drive a cool car, but this isn't a car. The Millennium Falcon is the most bad ass vehicle anyone could hope to own in college. Most dudes take girls out to dinner and a movie...weak shit compared to me taking these dames to the FOREST FUCKING MOON OF ENDOR!!!!! The fact that I get a Wookie co piolet makes this vehicle a straight up panty dropper. Now while this a pretty bitchin' ride there are a few draw backs to owning the Falcon. The first and most obvious is where the hell do I keep a star ship that can make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs? Then there the matter of taking care of this damn wookie. I'm barely qualified to take care of myself let alone a wookie. I fell like some dumbass at my school would scary my wookie and he would end up ripping that dumbasses arms off.

Man Approved Super Bowl Commercials

Willem Dafoe as Lucifer.....enough said.

"The sticky bun come soon"

Fast cars, hot chicks, and most importantly EXPLOSIONS!!!!

This commercial literally has nothing to do with beer. Unless they're saying that drinking Budweiser leads to unnatural man horse love.

Because Axe is for pussy...

Megan Fox being hot 'N shit

Movie-ception!!!

This year I was treated to perhaps the best Christmas present that I could hope for....a brand new Steven Spielberg film and not only that but it was a biopic about our 16th president good ole' Abraham Lincoln. When I found out Daniel Day Lewis was set to play the led role of Lincoln and would have an amazing supporting cast featuring amazing talent like Tommy Lee Jones, Jackie Earl Haley, Sally Field, Jared Harris, and Joseph Gordon Levitt even shows like for like 5 minutes. Needless to say my mind was already blown before I had even seen the film, but when I finally did see the film I was completely blown away by it. It was perhaps one of the most man approved movies of last year. I love how the story didn't focus on the war but on the struggles the president had to go through to get the 13th amendment pasted. It had me so emotional involved in the story that by the I almost cried...the key word being almost. After I saw the film on the ride home all I could think about was the amazing performance that Daniel Day Lewis had given and I began to reflect upon all of his other films and then it hit me. The last Daniel Day Lewis film that I enjoy on almost the same level as Lincoln was Gangs of New York film by another great filmmaker in Martin Scorsese, but here's what really blew my mind is that both of films occur at the same time in our nation's history and both of Lewis' characters exist at the same time but are complete opposites of each other. 

 It's basically a doppelganger between the two characters in a film that is occurring at the same time in history as the other film. Bill the Butcher is a bitter glassed eyed racist who really hates a lot things, to be fair I would be pretty bitter to if I had a glass eye. Overall he feels that the country he know and loves is changing and he hates it. Leading this wave of change is the president Lincoln so he naturally hates Lincoln. One of the only things that these to men can seem to agree upon is there love for tall top hats.

A small introduction to me

I've finally stop procrastinating and got around to starting this blog. I didn't start this blog so I could have a reason to go the local Starbucks drink coffee and type in public. I started it to have place to voice my opinions and hopefully have an audience willing to listen......Mostly I'll be writing about film and other random man approved stuff that I think is pretty interesting. But before we get into all that let me tell you a little bit about me. I'm a college student at this random college in Alabama called Oakwood. It's a SDA (Seventh Day Adventist) college that I didn't know existed until my junior year of high school when my brother started attending. Now I've never attended a church school outside of my daycare when I was a kid, so these are totally different experiences  for me. The biggest difference between this church school and public school are all the damn rules we have. We legit have a metric shit ton of rules at this school....seriously I didn't have this many rules when I was in high school. We have a student handbook that I believe literally has a new rule added to it each day. God forbid you choose not to follow any of them because the school will fine the shit out of you. I could live with all the rules we have if the school would allow us to have visiting hours for girls to be in our rooms and they got rid of the curfew. Serious we're all adults here and I think it's kind juvenile  to have a curfew for grow ass people. I understand a freshmen curfew because lets face it no matter what college you attend at least 8 in every 10 freshmen are mindless and unnaturally reckless. The other thing I think is stupid is the fact that I can't have any females in my room at.....all. The men's dorms do occasionally have open houses where females can come into our rooms between set hours. So they're basically setting up a conjugal visit. I find this rule to be the stupidest of all of them because they're trying to prevent students from having sex. Now that's all fine that some if not most of the students are trying to maintain their virginitys for marriage but your not going to stop hoes down for the sucking and the fucking from being hoes down for the sucking and the fucking.Now this doesn't mean that I think all women are hoes but what I'm trying to say is this is college not daycare center so cut the umbilical core and pop the tit out of these students mouths and let us be adults. When I get my first apartment is my landlord going to give me a curfew and tell me that I can't have dames in my swinging bachelor pad? Hell to the no because I'm a grown ass man. But what do I really know I'm just some guy with a blog, maybe one day I'll look back on these rule and miss them ( which highly doubt that I will). At the end of the day the check cleared and Oakwood has my money so I guess I got to make the best out of it. So in the mean time I'll be posting ridiculous non sense and my thoughts on them to this blog.