So it's a normal Tuesday and you're chilling in the dorm room kicking ass and taking names in whatever fps or sports game the kids are into these days when it hits you.......HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!! It's 9:45 at night and you just remembered that big project/paper/etc. that's worth 60% of your overall grade is due in 12 hours and you haven't even started on it. You my friend are in for an all nighter of Michael Bay sized proportions. (Insert hot chicks explosions and mildly racist robots)
Like most studious college students at the beginning of each semester you make a pact with yourself to stay on top of all your classes and avoid the dreaded life or death all nighter. Well for the first week of school your keep that personal pact until you realize man fuck this shit I want to party and tame some strange, I'll do all that studying shit later. Well later turns into eventually and then eventually turns into fuck my life I can't believe I forgot to do this big project/paper/etc. until now. Now you must find away to finish this big project/paper/etc. if you hope to pass your class. I've been down this road a few times in my college career and have some tips to offer the brave soul who must undertake this task.
*Disclaimer I'm in no way shape or form a doctor or reliable study guru. I'm a bro with a blog who is sharing his own personal tips for making an all nighter your bitch. So don't get pissed at me if you get hurt or fail you class because of my advice. At the end of the day you should've planned ahead dumbass.*
but be warned this chemical concoction of caffeine, b vitamins, and Dwayne Johnson sweat is extremely potent. Drinking more then one could result in the consumer gaining the ability to kick the sun and being rendered sterile. Also you could go in to cardiac arrest and totally like die and junk. This would be amazing for you're room mate who would totally get a 4.0 for the semester off your death...but screw that guy he keeps you up late at night listening to Drake and he borrows all your shit and never gives it back in the same condition he got it.
The Adderall (Smart
Drugs) is an appealing alternative to all these bitch made caffeinated drinks. This drug is prescribed to people with ADHD and will give a Jedi like focus, but will sadly not make any actually Jedi. Be warned with great focus comes great consequences like the inability to sleep for up to 24 hours and over-thinking ones life, but the drug will give the undivided focus to finish whatever task you have for 12 to 24 hours. But keep in mind that this is a drug and is illegal to have in ones possession unless it's prescribed and overdosing has led to death and junk, so us at your own risk.
Drugs) is an appealing alternative to all these bitch made caffeinated drinks. This drug is prescribed to people with ADHD and will give a Jedi like focus, but will sadly not make any actually Jedi. Be warned with great focus comes great consequences like the inability to sleep for up to 24 hours and over-thinking ones life, but the drug will give the undivided focus to finish whatever task you have for 12 to 24 hours. But keep in mind that this is a drug and is illegal to have in ones possession unless it's prescribed and overdosing has led to death and junk, so us at your own risk.
Check on your sweet pump, uses your gym gains to inspire you to get these mental gains broski
*Optional do push ups and sit up to increased pumpness*
Now clear your desk and set out all your study materials
*Optional do more push ups and sit up to increased pumpness*
By now your study fuel should be coursing through your veins and your heart probably feels like it's going to explode out of your chest...this is how you know it's time to crack them books and get to work. But first you must assembly a playlist to match the epicness of your caffeine high. Try and pick song that range from an up tempo all out dubstep assault to your ears to down tempo loves songs like Band Will Make Her Dance. The length of you tasty jams playlist will vary depending on how much music you have in your collect.
Now you study like there's no tomorrow, no matter what you must finish what ever the hell it is that your studying. Make no mistake about it this working that you are doing is rushed and half assessed but you got to finish it if you hope to pass that class and stay your procrastinating ass in college. At many points in the night you'll become discouraged and frustrated, when this happens watch a Ray Lewis motivation speech video or a montage from a Rocky film and you'll find a desire from deep within to finish the task at hand. Copy and paste are your friends and you will fake sources to fill out the bare minimum requirements, as long as you finish the damn thing and turn it in with at least C quality work you'll be fine champ.
As the sunlight comes peaking through your dorm room window a sense of accomplishment will fall over you. Throw on Wrecking Ball as you make your way to you bed for 15 minutes of sleep before you must attack the day and turn in your half assessed C quality big project/paper/etc.
To recover from this massive amount of stress you put on your body smoke some pot and go to sleep.
*Disclaimer smoking pot is stupid illegal in most parts of the world and is merely a comical suggestion from this bro with a blog*
No comments:
Post a Comment