300:Rise of an Empire Review

　　Finally after years of speculation whether or nah this film would even come into existence comes the much anticipated sequel to 2006's 300. Ok to be honest with you people I don't know how much people anticipated this film, but I'm going to assume it was a lot if the studio went ahead and green lit this sequel, But I must admit this film has one of the badass poster's I've seen all year. 300 ,a film that needs no introduction boasting hoards of frat brothers, body builders , fire fighters, and pretty much any man heterosexual male with a pulse as loyal fans to the first film. So when news of a sequel finally getting made came to my attention natural I wanted to drop what I was doing getting into a gym and work on my six pack before the film's release date so I wouldn't feel as self conscience as I did when I saw the first film. Like the first film this movie is based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller entitled "Xerxes",but would this film have the same gusto and shear man approved manlyness of the first film? Would there still be non stop balls to wall no holds bar mind numbing action involving sweaty  glistening chiseled men on a battle field? At some point are we going to see that pasty hot chicks tits? Will Zack Snyder be returning as director? 

　　The answer to most of these question is yes, except for Zack Snyder returning as director, instead he returns as producer.. Which makes sense because he's a busy guy these days with the filming of the Batman/ Superman movie to begin soon. Instead sitting in the directors chair is former commercial Noam Murro, who's last movie was "Smart People". Didn't see his last picture? Done worry I didn't see that shit either. The director of the film of the film isn't the only thing that's change, the focus of the film in no longer the on the crimson caped Spartans but rather on Themistocles and the naval battles of the Athenian navy, also they have pretty bitchin blue capes. Once again for some reason these guy also fight wars with out being weighted down with bullshit like shirts or pants...cause fighting wars with shirts or pants is for for pussies. So for all the ladies out there don't worry the shirtless slightly greased up bodies you loved from the first movie are still here. Speaking of missing Spartans we can't forget the most important Spartan and another big piece from the previous film missing if King Leonidas himself played by Gerard Butler, a man who really made the first film what it was by delivering some of the quoted movies line in recent film history. Instead the leading man in this film is Aussie Sullivan Stapleton (Themistocles) know for his role on the hit Cinemax/HBO show "Strike Back". His performance is good but he lacks the massive presence that Butler had. He's up staged by Eva Green's character Artemisia, who is the very definition of psycho crazy war lord bitch...if that's even something that would be defined in the dictionary? But that's besides the point, the bitch is bat shit crazy ,vindictive, a yet sexy as fuck. She chews up every bit of scenery in every single scene she's in, while her character was bat shit crazy I'd still hit, am I right? **Raises hand and looks around for high five***. The rest of the cast is filled out with a bunch of no name dumb asses and some dude who looks like Jesus and doesn't kill anyone despite him being in every battle scene. Oh and Rodrigo Santoro, who's Brazilian as fuck playing a guy who's Persian as fuck, also returns to this film. 

　　

The film is beautiful but hallow and synthetic at the same time, at points I forgot I was watch 300 Rise of an Empire and not an overpriced cologne commercial.While all the CGI is beautiful to look at the entire world that this film is taking place in is CG, very few things in this movie are organic, like the damn CG dust particles that float around in almost every scene. I felt that in certain parts of the film the CG definitely adds to story but for the most part it distracted me because all I could thing about was how absolutely inorganic everything in this world was. They even had a section of the film that featured a horrible attempt to make a CG Leonidas fight scene. When it comes to the naval battles they are not as cool as the land warfare of the first film but they are still pretty cool to look at. This when I realized that this film is chess whereas the first film was checkers. There was not a whole lot of strategy with the Spartans just show up and do a shit ton of ass kicking. The Athenians had to use skill and strategy to over come there enemies in a plan that doesn't involve every single soldier they have dieing in the process. I guess the argument can be made that even thought the Athenians aren't the uber badass Spartans who get there rocks off to war all the time, they are multifaceted people who care more about the preservation of there growing nation rather then just there city state. The Spartans can be at points viewed in a selfish light in this film when compared to the Athenians. The crowning jewel for all the teenage boys and grown men alike is the ridiculously intense testosterone fueled sex scene that literally comes out of no where..ha comes.

　　I was rather surprised at all the people who flat out hated this film and voice it as we were leaving the cinema. I talked to a group of frat boy looking ass white dude out side the cinema that said it straight up was "Garbage" and "shit". Now I'll be the first to say that it's definitely not as balls to wall cool action as the first film, but if it was judged as a stand alone film then I think it would be more well received because it wouldn't have to live up to epic-ness of the first film. I enjoyed it purely on a this shit is beautiful insanity. Even though both films are based on true life battles they are so filled with over the top story telling and ridiculous action scenes that it leaves the end view saying to themselves "what the fuck? Did it actually go down like that?" in fact this movie does a great job of showing us how bloody and gory filled actual battles were back then. I loved how it made me feel like I was actually in the battle. Now the movie did drag on and become boring and the end is a complete and total fuck you dumb ass to anyone who bought a ticket to this film. But I found the film enjoyable on a purely indulgent level and I would give the film a

C+

　　

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