The Fault in Our Stars Review

So this past weekend I had the rare opportunity to enjoy two movies in one day. Early in the afternoon I enjoyed the new Seth Macfarlane western comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West" with one of my bros. It was typical Macfarlane comedy funny but it could have been so much more and a tad bit shorter, but that's all besides the point. The main event of my evening was the new chick flick based on a book or some shit about cancer and junk. I honestly hadn't heard a thing about it all year until about a week before the films release when it seemed like everywhere I looked there was some advertisement talking about the film. So based on the hype and the fact that the chick in it was insanely hot for someone who has cancer I decided to see it. Even if that meant I had to see it by myself. So I bought a ticket for the latest showing and showed up a few minutes late and was the first one out of the cinema to avoid to the awkwardness of being a single man watching a chick flick by himself and by someone I knew.

The film follows the life of Hazel Grace (Shailene Woodley), a girl with cancer, who meets a good looking fella, named Augusta Waters (Ansel Elgot), at a cancer support group run by Mike Birbiglia.  The two obviously fall in love and the film follows there unique love story as they both discover that there's more to life than the cancer that's destroying there bodies. The film also has an outstanding supporting cast with Laura Dern aka hot legs from Jurassic Park playing Hazel's mother and even Williem DaFoe showing up as a drunk pissed off author.  Director Josh Boone's use of slick camera work and descent pacing kept me emotional involved and connected to the story. I'm not going to lie and say I love every second of this film but at no point was I every disconnected enough to completely loose interest in what was happening on screen.

Aside from being a single manly man in a cinema fully of giggly girls who laughed at ever single corny line in this picture I couldn't find a single legitimate fault with this movie, and believe me I was searching like a hawk for some reason to destroy this movie and rip it a new in this review. In fact it was actually one of the best movies that I've seen  to date this summer. In a summer full of films that are sequels, reboots, reboot sequels, and whatever the hell Godzilla was this film feels fresh and original.  The only flaws that I could find where the typically thinks that frustrates about chicks flicks like the fact that there are no explosions and all the silly romantic stuff. Underneath all this chick stuff however the film really has a deep and profound message about life, love, and how we choose to spend our time with the people we love. It's a film that unlike all the other films I've seen this summer has really stuck with me after I left the cinema. Unlike the other movies I've seen like the dreadfully boring Godzilla which I forgot all about mere hours after seeing. Another minor fault I could point out was how sexy these people are despite the fact that they have cancer. Hazel and Augusta have to be the sexiest cancer patients in the world!!! I completely understand it's a movie and I know I'm kind of nit picking here but come on no one looks that good with cancer. For a few brief moment I considered going out and getting cancer and a badass leather jacket so I could pick up equally hot girls at my cancer support group meeting.

The one thing I enjoyed most about this film was how the film showed the impact that cancer has on not just the two teenagers but how it affects their families and friends. I felt that the film did a very good job of showing the impact of cancer beyond the people that are actually afflicted by it. I liked the bitter sweet realism the film portraits as it walks a tight rope balancing humor,romance, and ultimately heartbreak.  The fact that the film doesn't have a happy Disney princess ending was also refreshingly pleasant. The film did an excellent job of stirring clear of to many overly familiar genre plot points  which kept me guessing and interested. Now I'm not an emotional person when it come to movies. I have never been driven to tear by a movie yet, but I must say at the end of the movie I did feel something....I'm not 100% sure what it was I felt I just know that the film left a deep impression on me. Something that I can't say for a lot of the film that I've seen recently. Honestly I can put this movie up there with "50/50", another great cancer related comedy.

I am a manly man who enjoys doing manly man things like playing football while chopping down trees with Swiss army knife while at the same time boxing full grown grizzly bears on an unstable bridge over an active volcano...while blindfolded and tied up....with chains. I still fully enjoyed this movie and it didn't cost me my man card either. Bros this is the perfect date movie that as a couple you can both fully enjoy, but be fore warned if you have an emotional girlfriend the end of this movie may have in tears. On my way out of the cinema I don't think I saw any women with dry eyes.

-A

300:Rise of an Empire Review

　　Finally after years of speculation whether or nah this film would even come into existence comes the much anticipated sequel to 2006's 300. Ok to be honest with you people I don't know how much people anticipated this film, but I'm going to assume it was a lot if the studio went ahead and green lit this sequel, But I must admit this film has one of the badass poster's I've seen all year. 300 ,a film that needs no introduction boasting hoards of frat brothers, body builders , fire fighters, and pretty much any man heterosexual male with a pulse as loyal fans to the first film. So when news of a sequel finally getting made came to my attention natural I wanted to drop what I was doing getting into a gym and work on my six pack before the film's release date so I wouldn't feel as self conscience as I did when I saw the first film. Like the first film this movie is based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller entitled "Xerxes",but would this film have the same gusto and shear man approved manlyness of the first film? Would there still be non stop balls to wall no holds bar mind numbing action involving sweaty  glistening chiseled men on a battle field? At some point are we going to see that pasty hot chicks tits? Will Zack Snyder be returning as director? 

　　The answer to most of these question is yes, except for Zack Snyder returning as director, instead he returns as producer.. Which makes sense because he's a busy guy these days with the filming of the Batman/ Superman movie to begin soon. Instead sitting in the directors chair is former commercial Noam Murro, who's last movie was "Smart People". Didn't see his last picture? Done worry I didn't see that shit either. The director of the film of the film isn't the only thing that's change, the focus of the film in no longer the on the crimson caped Spartans but rather on Themistocles and the naval battles of the Athenian navy, also they have pretty bitchin blue capes. Once again for some reason these guy also fight wars with out being weighted down with bullshit like shirts or pants...cause fighting wars with shirts or pants is for for pussies. So for all the ladies out there don't worry the shirtless slightly greased up bodies you loved from the first movie are still here. Speaking of missing Spartans we can't forget the most important Spartan and another big piece from the previous film missing if King Leonidas himself played by Gerard Butler, a man who really made the first film what it was by delivering some of the quoted movies line in recent film history. Instead the leading man in this film is Aussie Sullivan Stapleton (Themistocles) know for his role on the hit Cinemax/HBO show "Strike Back". His performance is good but he lacks the massive presence that Butler had. He's up staged by Eva Green's character Artemisia, who is the very definition of psycho crazy war lord bitch...if that's even something that would be defined in the dictionary? But that's besides the point, the bitch is bat shit crazy ,vindictive, a yet sexy as fuck. She chews up every bit of scenery in every single scene she's in, while her character was bat shit crazy I'd still hit, am I right? **Raises hand and looks around for high five***. The rest of the cast is filled out with a bunch of no name dumb asses and some dude who looks like Jesus and doesn't kill anyone despite him being in every battle scene. Oh and Rodrigo Santoro, who's Brazilian as fuck playing a guy who's Persian as fuck, also returns to this film. 

　　

The film is beautiful but hallow and synthetic at the same time, at points I forgot I was watch 300 Rise of an Empire and not an overpriced cologne commercial.While all the CGI is beautiful to look at the entire world that this film is taking place in is CG, very few things in this movie are organic, like the damn CG dust particles that float around in almost every scene. I felt that in certain parts of the film the CG definitely adds to story but for the most part it distracted me because all I could thing about was how absolutely inorganic everything in this world was. They even had a section of the film that featured a horrible attempt to make a CG Leonidas fight scene. When it comes to the naval battles they are not as cool as the land warfare of the first film but they are still pretty cool to look at. This when I realized that this film is chess whereas the first film was checkers. There was not a whole lot of strategy with the Spartans just show up and do a shit ton of ass kicking. The Athenians had to use skill and strategy to over come there enemies in a plan that doesn't involve every single soldier they have dieing in the process. I guess the argument can be made that even thought the Athenians aren't the uber badass Spartans who get there rocks off to war all the time, they are multifaceted people who care more about the preservation of there growing nation rather then just there city state. The Spartans can be at points viewed in a selfish light in this film when compared to the Athenians. The crowning jewel for all the teenage boys and grown men alike is the ridiculously intense testosterone fueled sex scene that literally comes out of no where..ha comes.

　　I was rather surprised at all the people who flat out hated this film and voice it as we were leaving the cinema. I talked to a group of frat boy looking ass white dude out side the cinema that said it straight up was "Garbage" and "shit". Now I'll be the first to say that it's definitely not as balls to wall cool action as the first film, but if it was judged as a stand alone film then I think it would be more well received because it wouldn't have to live up to epic-ness of the first film. I enjoyed it purely on a this shit is beautiful insanity. Even though both films are based on true life battles they are so filled with over the top story telling and ridiculous action scenes that it leaves the end view saying to themselves "what the fuck? Did it actually go down like that?" in fact this movie does a great job of showing us how bloody and gory filled actual battles were back then. I loved how it made me feel like I was actually in the battle. Now the movie did drag on and become boring and the end is a complete and total fuck you dumb ass to anyone who bought a ticket to this film. But I found the film enjoyable on a purely indulgent level and I would give the film a

C+

　　

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